. . . . . .

I am soo tired right now. I just got home from Ice Skating and i saw one of my friends there. It was kinda cool except he could skate really well.
I have been really bored lately but when i go to school in some classes (English, Math, Freshman Studies, sometimes Theatre, and sometimes science) i just feel really happy. Its a nice feeling :D
I started this with out a lot of friends, but now i dont have like as much as i did in middle school but im thankful for that because the nice to have some friends that dont like to know whats going on all the time but they care enough to ask when it counts.

So yesterday was that guys birthday. It was so hard. Like cried myself to sleep had to turn up my ipod so i couldn't hear myself. I felt like an emo. The whole night before (when it was the 26th in korea but the 25th in america) i broke into bailey's closet and got my charm and put it on my Colors ~Melody and Harmony~ necklace and i sat on the floor of my living room watching Chuck and Heros rubbing my necklace.
PATHETIC!!
I need help. I really do.

Dried Mangos are the best tasting thing in the world. Like if you could have perfection in your mouth it would be by kissing me JK it'd be by eating a mango THAT IS DRIED AND COVERED IN SUGAR! Monica is amazing~!

And this is really cute

http://youtube.com/watch?v=RkOIFPX7hvw

Tan~

So when I want to look nice I put on foundation. I know that i should wear it everyday with my skin but. . . .
SO I ran out of foundation the day before the dance p.e concert. When i went to Walmart to get more (GO WALMART) but when i went there they had the shade before and after mine, not the one i needed.
Me being me i got the shade darker.
Now whenever i put it on i look REALLY TAN. It's pretty great!!
So stop paying for those crappy tanning beds or self tanners.
FOUNDATION!
Why i wrote this i have NO CLUE
I have no life.

Twice in One Day?!

I can't believe im sitting here blogging for the second time today but its happening!
The question is what is this even about?
I think that because Finals end on a thursday that im going to treat becca and i to LUNCH! nothing amazing like Olive Garden (cause im paying and i dont have that kind of money) but like In-N-Out, or Arbys.
I got on costume crew for west side~! I can now say goodbye to the whole hours problem seeing as this quarter i need 30 instead of 20.
I find it very hard to go to school with gay guys. Not that i dont like gay people, dont get me wrong i love them with my entire being. (Matt~)
But thats just it i love them. I fear im going to get attached to the feminine males at my school that when it comes time to find a Beau i'll find a gay one who will never return the favor. Like Matt. I think that kid is REALLY good looking. And his personality is really nice and funny. But He is GAY~ ( as i often have to remind Kenzie Ember Gray ) He wont ever think im more than cute. And it's the same cute i feel towards my girlfriends when i say they look cute. It's kinda unfair to the straight women in this school . . . . . But i still love them!
Now this is why i say this. I have never had a date. Like a legit "Wanna go out tonight' date because i've never been old enough. rule in my house is no dating until your 16. WELLL i turn 16 this year and i REALLLLY want to go on a date on my 16th birthday. But who to go with.
I want to go with this kid Jordan because we are really close friends and it does help that he is REALLY GOOD LOOKING~! And white (which is new for me because well ASIANS~~)
But i dont know if he'll be home by then (dont ask)
Then i thought well maybe my friend Randy Sly might take me. But not only are we not close enough for that he will be 17. . . .
Then there is this kid Brent from pahrump. HE IS AMAZING! But a total jerk. He would rather have the cheese and crackers out in Pahrump then the STEAK (IE me) in Vegas. jerk.
Oh goodness i dont even know how i wrote this much. And I still need to blog about the Dance P.E show . . . oh well that will be another day~
:D

BLOGGING!!!

Wow I hate finals. . . . I really do.
So after my new change i think it has been a week today that i decided to make the change. It has been so hard and I try not to show it because it is a stuggle within myself that i think i should be able to handle on my own.
I have taken the pictures off my new ipod along with their music. I put my Hello Kitty 26 charm (which represents JaeJoong's birthday) and i put it in the canister that the poster i got for my birthday came in and i put that in Bailey's closet.
I hope not to get rid of them completely because i still love their music but i hope that it's just their music not them all together.
I saw that JaeJoong was in Canada this weekend and i actually didn't feel really spazy that he was closer to me than normal. I then listened to some of their music (granted that it was really old like miduhyo and insa) and it actually was kinda boring to me. But the videos still get to me. I still cry just about every night. It will change though, i know i can do this.

Exams were super easy because I didnt have one in theatre today and dance p.e was niiiice~
And there was this silly paper that Aleah wrote me saying "I love Brookelynn Eliza Bergquist, Matt Fowler, Monica LaCap, and Asians" it said other stuff but at the very top it said MEOW in big letters and Matt saw the MEOW and was like 'Whats that' oh goodness i grabbed that sooooooo fast!!!

So i guess life is pretty okay.

Oh Goodness

So it's time to get my life in check. I'm starting with the biggest problem.
DongBangShinKi.
Now i know of 2 people right now who are making this face O_O
You know who you are.
I feel sometimes (even if i dont look or act like it) that my life is controlled by these men, these really good looking intangible men.
I once prayed for help if DBSK was something that i should be concerning my life with. The next day in my subscriptions box on YouTube was Colors~Melody and Harmony~. It had English subs so i was like OOKAY~~!
This is the first verse


Right now, somewhere, someone
is in pain, all alone
passing through a sleepless night
Until the light shines in your heart
lets nestle close together so we can sleep
like a melody and harmony in love.

So when i heard that i thought 'This isn't a coincidence. i must need to do this'

Well yesterday my dad said that i couldn't go on YouTube anymore and i had a break down. It was pathetic now that i think about it. But all i wanted to do was sit in the dark and wallow.
Thinking about it, that was scary. I do enjoy being alone sometimes but i don't think that i should've been alone then.
I told my dad i'd delete my YouTube account so that all the subscriptions and recommended for you wont be there. I think it's the right thing to do until i can balance my life. I did it with Anime, video games, twilight. this is just another phase and although its much worse, in my opinion, than anything i've ever liked i think it's time it starts to not be so dramatic.
So no more claiming JaeJoong Oppa (oppa is his title not a fangirl thing) as my husband. No more crying over the fact that he will marry someone other than me. No more indulging my nostalgia when I go places or do things that remind me of them. I still want to listen to their music though. K-pop is my favorite music. G-Dragon is my favorite right about now. So that wont stop just instead of the boiling it's doing now im just going to let it simmer.
Bad cooking reference.

Making Layouts

So i just edited Aleah's blogger
EnchantingAmerican.blogspot.com
I found this cuuuute layout and i edited it for aleah's tastes and it took FOREVER! but it's done so im happy