Try and Understand

Alot of people know I have one problem with me. Well it's not just one. . . but this is the main one
DBSK
So here is a little list so that you can maybe understand the inner workings of my mind

•You google search Cassiopeia in hopes of finding the headquarters and joining

•You continue looking to be a part of Cassiopeia even though you kinda cant

•Everytime you see a picture from a variety show, you know exactly what was going on

•You can tell what DBSK era/phase they were in by their hair

•Are still trying to find a way to join Cassiopeia

•Want to learn Korean

•Want to go to Korea

•Want to become that staff memer that wipes the sweat off their faces after a performance

•You momentarily want to become a back up dancer just so you can touch them during the “Tohodancer Tohodance Tohodancer FIGHTING” chant

•Have already taken steps to learn the MIROTIC dance

•Whenever you talk to others about DBSK, you talk as if you are close personal friends with them

•e.x. “Did you know Max talks in his sleep?…. Micky is so crazy when he’s tipsy…”

•You start laughing with one of your hands covering your mouth (JJ style)

•You clap while you laugh (Max style)

•You’ve absent-mindedly began to laugh like Xiah Junsu

•At a particular hysterical moment you always do a “stand and walk around” laugh (DBSK style)

•You know the answer to a variety show question about their personal habits/preferences (ex. “MC: Micky, what body part do you look at first when you see a woman; You: The neck… d’uh; Micky: The neck”)

•You scream along during Max’s part in Rising Sun

•You do the little butt thing Yunho does in the beginning of “O”

•You know how many siblings they each have

•You really want to know what their favourite colours are

•When you find out their favorite color is the same as yours you, for SOME reason, get extremely excited

•You talk about DBSK to anyone with ears

•You’ve seen the Mirotic MV and Wrong Number MV an excessive amount of times

•Fell in love with Bolero within the first 6 seconds of hearing it

•You can call out who’s voice is who’s when they sing

•You look to them for Fashion advice

•Want to get your hands on the DVDs even though the only Korean words you understand are “hyung… saranghae… and oppa”

•Are able to watch a 60 minute Variety show without subs and feel like you know what their saying

•The people around you hum Mirotic against their will ‘cause you play it all the time

•You twitch everytime you hear Mirotic and Wrong Number ‘cause you’ve been practicing the dance moves and your body can’t help but want to dance

•Your friends talk about how they’ve been eating all day and you inform them about how Max eats 8 meals a day… they have no idea who Max is OR … they actually know who Max is because all you talk about is DBSK

•Your friends ask you “what’s new” and all you tell them is what new thing you found out about DBSK because that’s all you’ve been doing all day (watching Variety and Radio Shows).

•You want to become famous in your country JUST so you can somehow use your fame to get closer to them

•You know all the English words in their songs… and that’s about all you can sing

•Even though you sometimes Criticize Cassiopeia… you still look for a way to be a part of it

•You want “Miduhyo (Believe)” and “My Little Princess” to be played at your Wedding~

•Whenever you watch a performance by them you look around for something red to wave around

•Everytime you hear about their “ideal girl” you see if you compare… no matter which member it is

•You go into withdrawal when you havent done something DBSK related for a while

•Even though you dont live in Korea and still follow their Japanese activities, you’re kinda sad they’re going back to Japan soon

•You’re extremely proud of them when they write a song

•When you read fun random facts about DBSK… you know about 97% of them already

•You believe they’ve all lived up to the meaning behind their names (U-know, Hero, Xiah, Micky (lol), Max)

•You want to get a UFO account

•Because you CAN’T get a UFO account, you think up things to say if you did have one… and wonder who would answer as well as what he would say

•You KNOW they are here to stay

•You feel sorry for what Cassiopeia would do to SM Entertainment if they ever disbanded DBSK

•You’re still looking for ways to be a registered member of Cassiopeia

•You want to send DBSK a video of you gushing about how much you love them and how much you appreciate their music

•Even though you downloaded some of their songs,… you still want to buy their albums

•You want to give Micky a big hug every time you see him cry

•Even though there might be members you like more than the others… you dont dislike any of them

•You say a random “Fighting” or “Hwaiting” when you’re about to do something intense (or not so intense)

•You still laugh at the “U-Know Yunho- Fighting, Choikang ChangMin- Fighting, Micky Yoochun- Fighting, Youngwoong JaeJoong- Fighting, Dong Bang Shin Ki- FIGHTING” …….. “… Xiah Junsu- Fighting” thing

•You know the “Kamo, Come On!” Oyagi gag, compliments of Xiah Junsu

•You get pissed when people say that DBSK is overrated…

•You want to give Xiah a hug every time he does something only Xiah would do

•You see a “stalking” video on youtube featuring one of the members and feel bad that they can’t get any privacy… but still watch the video.

•If you ever meet another DBSK fan outside of the internet you immediately feel like you’ve known each other for years

•You know their birthdays but don’t know your own friends’s birthday

•If a few of the members are missing on a Variety show you can imagine what the missing members would say if they were there

•You make up sound-alike-lyrics to the Korean/Japanese lyrics just so you can sing along.

•You think up fan group names as catchy as “Cassiopeia” and “Big East” for your country

•You want to shake hands with whomever thought of Cassiopeia

•You’re STILL looking for ways to join Cassiopeia

•Get upset when people still say 800,000 fans because it’s an outdated number -there are waaaaay more than that now

•You’re in on the “Max and his ‘special’ movies” joke

•You might be the girl in Wrong Number (the one that calls them a lot) (lmao!)

•For some reason, you love JJ even more when you find out he takes risque pictures of the others

•Whenever you hear a good song, you want to use to it to make an FanVideo about DBSK

•Your body went through spasms when you found out DBSK was going to be on FuseTV

•You get as excited as the people in the show when Yunho uses his hometown dialect… even though you really can’t tell the difference

So basically this is my life. Not really but still :D

Okay here we go, One, two, one, two, three

So I havn't blogged about anything important lately so here i go.
So my math class, that's always a good place to start. I have a D currently. ARE YOU FRICKEN SERIOUS?! I hate Mr.Cohen. My mother tells me that it's not him its me. Sounds like a cheesy break up. But she is telling me that it isn't his teaching skills that are causing my 69%. But if it is me then why are most of his students failing?
I love love love love love my english class though. Sometimes it gets annoying because the views of my fellow classmates have different views than me. That normally doesn't bother me but it's that they stand so strongly with their views they dont care what the others say and get kinda pissed.
Freshman studies is the worst class. Why in the world did they create it? The only time it is fun is when we get to talk because Matt is super funny. I love that kid.
I've been playing this game, more like a race called Jae'l Break. I'm actually playing as I type this. What they do is give you hints or clues that go with a website. At the site they have a question and you email in your answer. Right now i have 1 hotspot (website) done and the 2nd one just doesn't feel like giving me my second hotspot. :( I need 7 by Saturday.
So I am in no way homosexual. Not even a little. But one of my friends keeps doing very awkward things and people see it and claim that she is my girlfriend. She always holds my hand and when I pull it away she grabs it again. She demands my attention all the time. When she hugs me (which is about 7-8 times every time I see her.) she nuzzles her head against my neck. Then she gets like extremely upset if I don't meet her in between certain classes. I don't know if she realizes that this is reallly weird and creepy but I don't know how to tell her either. I wont say who she is. Don't guess, make assumptions, or ask me. I won't tell. but it just bothers me.
I remember when i was little (like 10 so not that little) i over heard my parents talking about how money was tight. I remember riding around my block thinking of all the things of mine I could sell to get money. Well they never really tell my sisters and I how tight money really is. To my sisters if they aren't told then they dont care. But I still overhear my parents and try not to ask for much. But my sisters still act like they did when money wasn't tight. They just spend and spend.
WOOT someone finally answered my question. I got it right. I instantly figured out the next hotspot and someone had posted the answer on DBSKNIGHTS so i had it :D Life is good~
So that's all I can think of right now. . . Oh wait i got into a 5th notebook. 300 pages baby~ I'm soo good~
Alright now I'm done.



사랑해, Sadie Elizabeth Kim

YEAH BOI~

OH MY HECK YUNHO OPPA IS COMMING TO VEGAS ON MARCH 4TH~! Well it's march 5th Korea time but it will be the 4th in America. maybe the 5th but im not sure. . . .
I WANNA GOOOO~
But i doubt my parents wont take me, they still dont like dbsk.
The Jae'l Break race starts tonight at midnight and i CANT WAIT!
Yeah um thats it :D

I am

In english we are starting the book speak. Its an amazing book i recomend it to EVERYONE!
So we wrote amazing poems and I thought I'd post mine
(for those of you in my english class i copied mine as we read :D)


I am deep and loud
I wonder why there is a Valentines day
I hear the flutter of wings
I see the love in the ice
I want someone to tell me the love me
I am deep and loud

I pretend not to care
I feel they are against me
I worry about what they say
I cry when they leave
I am deep and loud

I understand why they do this
I say I'll always keep the faith
I dream you'll return into my arms
I try to stay strong
I hope for the future
I am deep and loud.

Mother, dont think anything of this :D it's answers to questions put into a poem.
So yeah. If you want the format just ask me and I'll totes post it

. . . . . .

I am soo tired right now. I just got home from Ice Skating and i saw one of my friends there. It was kinda cool except he could skate really well.
I have been really bored lately but when i go to school in some classes (English, Math, Freshman Studies, sometimes Theatre, and sometimes science) i just feel really happy. Its a nice feeling :D
I started this with out a lot of friends, but now i dont have like as much as i did in middle school but im thankful for that because the nice to have some friends that dont like to know whats going on all the time but they care enough to ask when it counts.

So yesterday was that guys birthday. It was so hard. Like cried myself to sleep had to turn up my ipod so i couldn't hear myself. I felt like an emo. The whole night before (when it was the 26th in korea but the 25th in america) i broke into bailey's closet and got my charm and put it on my Colors ~Melody and Harmony~ necklace and i sat on the floor of my living room watching Chuck and Heros rubbing my necklace.
PATHETIC!!
I need help. I really do.

Dried Mangos are the best tasting thing in the world. Like if you could have perfection in your mouth it would be by kissing me JK it'd be by eating a mango THAT IS DRIED AND COVERED IN SUGAR! Monica is amazing~!

And this is really cute

http://youtube.com/watch?v=RkOIFPX7hvw

Tan~

So when I want to look nice I put on foundation. I know that i should wear it everyday with my skin but. . . .
SO I ran out of foundation the day before the dance p.e concert. When i went to Walmart to get more (GO WALMART) but when i went there they had the shade before and after mine, not the one i needed.
Me being me i got the shade darker.
Now whenever i put it on i look REALLY TAN. It's pretty great!!
So stop paying for those crappy tanning beds or self tanners.
FOUNDATION!
Why i wrote this i have NO CLUE
I have no life.

Twice in One Day?!

I can't believe im sitting here blogging for the second time today but its happening!
The question is what is this even about?
I think that because Finals end on a thursday that im going to treat becca and i to LUNCH! nothing amazing like Olive Garden (cause im paying and i dont have that kind of money) but like In-N-Out, or Arbys.
I got on costume crew for west side~! I can now say goodbye to the whole hours problem seeing as this quarter i need 30 instead of 20.
I find it very hard to go to school with gay guys. Not that i dont like gay people, dont get me wrong i love them with my entire being. (Matt~)
But thats just it i love them. I fear im going to get attached to the feminine males at my school that when it comes time to find a Beau i'll find a gay one who will never return the favor. Like Matt. I think that kid is REALLY good looking. And his personality is really nice and funny. But He is GAY~ ( as i often have to remind Kenzie Ember Gray ) He wont ever think im more than cute. And it's the same cute i feel towards my girlfriends when i say they look cute. It's kinda unfair to the straight women in this school . . . . . But i still love them!
Now this is why i say this. I have never had a date. Like a legit "Wanna go out tonight' date because i've never been old enough. rule in my house is no dating until your 16. WELLL i turn 16 this year and i REALLLLY want to go on a date on my 16th birthday. But who to go with.
I want to go with this kid Jordan because we are really close friends and it does help that he is REALLY GOOD LOOKING~! And white (which is new for me because well ASIANS~~)
But i dont know if he'll be home by then (dont ask)
Then i thought well maybe my friend Randy Sly might take me. But not only are we not close enough for that he will be 17. . . .
Then there is this kid Brent from pahrump. HE IS AMAZING! But a total jerk. He would rather have the cheese and crackers out in Pahrump then the STEAK (IE me) in Vegas. jerk.
Oh goodness i dont even know how i wrote this much. And I still need to blog about the Dance P.E show . . . oh well that will be another day~
:D

BLOGGING!!!

Wow I hate finals. . . . I really do.
So after my new change i think it has been a week today that i decided to make the change. It has been so hard and I try not to show it because it is a stuggle within myself that i think i should be able to handle on my own.
I have taken the pictures off my new ipod along with their music. I put my Hello Kitty 26 charm (which represents JaeJoong's birthday) and i put it in the canister that the poster i got for my birthday came in and i put that in Bailey's closet.
I hope not to get rid of them completely because i still love their music but i hope that it's just their music not them all together.
I saw that JaeJoong was in Canada this weekend and i actually didn't feel really spazy that he was closer to me than normal. I then listened to some of their music (granted that it was really old like miduhyo and insa) and it actually was kinda boring to me. But the videos still get to me. I still cry just about every night. It will change though, i know i can do this.

Exams were super easy because I didnt have one in theatre today and dance p.e was niiiice~
And there was this silly paper that Aleah wrote me saying "I love Brookelynn Eliza Bergquist, Matt Fowler, Monica LaCap, and Asians" it said other stuff but at the very top it said MEOW in big letters and Matt saw the MEOW and was like 'Whats that' oh goodness i grabbed that sooooooo fast!!!

So i guess life is pretty okay.

Oh Goodness

So it's time to get my life in check. I'm starting with the biggest problem.
DongBangShinKi.
Now i know of 2 people right now who are making this face O_O
You know who you are.
I feel sometimes (even if i dont look or act like it) that my life is controlled by these men, these really good looking intangible men.
I once prayed for help if DBSK was something that i should be concerning my life with. The next day in my subscriptions box on YouTube was Colors~Melody and Harmony~. It had English subs so i was like OOKAY~~!
This is the first verse


Right now, somewhere, someone
is in pain, all alone
passing through a sleepless night
Until the light shines in your heart
lets nestle close together so we can sleep
like a melody and harmony in love.

So when i heard that i thought 'This isn't a coincidence. i must need to do this'

Well yesterday my dad said that i couldn't go on YouTube anymore and i had a break down. It was pathetic now that i think about it. But all i wanted to do was sit in the dark and wallow.
Thinking about it, that was scary. I do enjoy being alone sometimes but i don't think that i should've been alone then.
I told my dad i'd delete my YouTube account so that all the subscriptions and recommended for you wont be there. I think it's the right thing to do until i can balance my life. I did it with Anime, video games, twilight. this is just another phase and although its much worse, in my opinion, than anything i've ever liked i think it's time it starts to not be so dramatic.
So no more claiming JaeJoong Oppa (oppa is his title not a fangirl thing) as my husband. No more crying over the fact that he will marry someone other than me. No more indulging my nostalgia when I go places or do things that remind me of them. I still want to listen to their music though. K-pop is my favorite music. G-Dragon is my favorite right about now. So that wont stop just instead of the boiling it's doing now im just going to let it simmer.
Bad cooking reference.

Making Layouts

So i just edited Aleah's blogger
EnchantingAmerican.blogspot.com
I found this cuuuute layout and i edited it for aleah's tastes and it took FOREVER! but it's done so im happy

MOMMMMMMMMA

My mother. I love her t0 death, but i wanna dye my hair wine red and she said NO

I didn't even want to dye the whole thing red just the underside of my hair red. NOPE

:C PLEASE MOOMMMYYYY I WANNA DYE MY HAIIIIRRRRRR REEEEEEDDDDD.

What about the same red i dyed it before? the purplish red that was really pretty.

YOU YOURSELF SAID IT WAS PRETTY!!!!!!!

:(

Mom i love you~ a lot. I JUST WANT RED HAIR!!!

Okay this picture doesn't help. . . but thats the color.