BLOGGING!!!

Wow I hate finals. . . . I really do.
So after my new change i think it has been a week today that i decided to make the change. It has been so hard and I try not to show it because it is a stuggle within myself that i think i should be able to handle on my own.
I have taken the pictures off my new ipod along with their music. I put my Hello Kitty 26 charm (which represents JaeJoong's birthday) and i put it in the canister that the poster i got for my birthday came in and i put that in Bailey's closet.
I hope not to get rid of them completely because i still love their music but i hope that it's just their music not them all together.
I saw that JaeJoong was in Canada this weekend and i actually didn't feel really spazy that he was closer to me than normal. I then listened to some of their music (granted that it was really old like miduhyo and insa) and it actually was kinda boring to me. But the videos still get to me. I still cry just about every night. It will change though, i know i can do this.

Exams were super easy because I didnt have one in theatre today and dance p.e was niiiice~
And there was this silly paper that Aleah wrote me saying "I love Brookelynn Eliza Bergquist, Matt Fowler, Monica LaCap, and Asians" it said other stuff but at the very top it said MEOW in big letters and Matt saw the MEOW and was like 'Whats that' oh goodness i grabbed that sooooooo fast!!!

So i guess life is pretty okay.

Oh Goodness

So it's time to get my life in check. I'm starting with the biggest problem.
DongBangShinKi.
Now i know of 2 people right now who are making this face O_O
You know who you are.
I feel sometimes (even if i dont look or act like it) that my life is controlled by these men, these really good looking intangible men.
I once prayed for help if DBSK was something that i should be concerning my life with. The next day in my subscriptions box on YouTube was Colors~Melody and Harmony~. It had English subs so i was like OOKAY~~!
This is the first verse


Right now, somewhere, someone
is in pain, all alone
passing through a sleepless night
Until the light shines in your heart
lets nestle close together so we can sleep
like a melody and harmony in love.

So when i heard that i thought 'This isn't a coincidence. i must need to do this'

Well yesterday my dad said that i couldn't go on YouTube anymore and i had a break down. It was pathetic now that i think about it. But all i wanted to do was sit in the dark and wallow.
Thinking about it, that was scary. I do enjoy being alone sometimes but i don't think that i should've been alone then.
I told my dad i'd delete my YouTube account so that all the subscriptions and recommended for you wont be there. I think it's the right thing to do until i can balance my life. I did it with Anime, video games, twilight. this is just another phase and although its much worse, in my opinion, than anything i've ever liked i think it's time it starts to not be so dramatic.
So no more claiming JaeJoong Oppa (oppa is his title not a fangirl thing) as my husband. No more crying over the fact that he will marry someone other than me. No more indulging my nostalgia when I go places or do things that remind me of them. I still want to listen to their music though. K-pop is my favorite music. G-Dragon is my favorite right about now. So that wont stop just instead of the boiling it's doing now im just going to let it simmer.
Bad cooking reference.

Making Layouts

So i just edited Aleah's blogger
EnchantingAmerican.blogspot.com
I found this cuuuute layout and i edited it for aleah's tastes and it took FOREVER! but it's done so im happy

MOMMMMMMMMA

My mother. I love her t0 death, but i wanna dye my hair wine red and she said NO

I didn't even want to dye the whole thing red just the underside of my hair red. NOPE

:C PLEASE MOOMMMYYYY I WANNA DYE MY HAIIIIRRRRRR REEEEEEDDDDD.

What about the same red i dyed it before? the purplish red that was really pretty.

YOU YOURSELF SAID IT WAS PRETTY!!!!!!!

:(

Mom i love you~ a lot. I JUST WANT RED HAIR!!!

Okay this picture doesn't help. . . but thats the color.

STOP JaeJoongie time

So I was looking at my blog and i think it needs more JaeJoong :D

Love the Earrings :D

Haha he is a dork. This is a picture off HIS CELLPHONE that he took when he was getting his hair done :D

This should (and could) be illegal. . . it's a good thing its not~ :D

But guys lets be real. How could someone this beautiful

Be so ADORKABLE?

He is such a cutie!!1

Sooo ya LOVE HIM!

I just saw a tag on a picture that said "He put a ring on it" and FLIPPED OUT! So i clicked it and it was from April when JaeJoong was dating Jessica (tramp) and they got matching rings. AWW HOW FRICKEN CUTE I THINK I MIGHT HURL! :D

Voice lessons

Okay before I get into my lessons i just would like to say that my password for this blog isnt my password for anything else so i always end up typing the wrong thing and it BUGS ME!!!

Anyway so i started taking voice lessons. Why? not sure. I sing in the shower and before i got a teacher i would get out of the shower and walk past my moms room and she would say "We need to get you a voice teacher"

Is that some kind of insult?

JUST KIDDING Love you mommy!!!

Anyway youtube is being it's stupid self and DISTRACTING ME!! but i love it ANYWAYS

So I always say to Stephanie, my teacher, that im going to blog about how well i did that day in voice. but i never do obviously. So here i go!

When i started voice i had like noooo range. I could not even get into second. . . thats crap.
So she pounded me through second and just the other day i was doing scales and i not only made it though second on chest voice, i didnt even know i did it. Normally when i go through second bridge i make faces or laugh or do something because it would feel weird but now its all
"hey second bridge i just OWNED YOU!!"
She once showed me a video of vocal chords and EWWWWWWWWW i advise you to NEVER look it up. I was like gagging and she just laughed at me. She is like my best grown up friend mostly because she doesn't act grown up all the time. She's INSANE but in a good way ;D

So ya now i've blogged about voice. . . ACCOMPLISHED!!!

I CANT BELIEVE I NEVER BLOGGED ABOUT THIS!!

I WATCHED HEAVENS POSTMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OHMOGO It was amazing!!! there were some parts where it dragged. I think that was because i didn't like the female lead. but there were just times when i wanted to cry there were times when i did cry.
JaeJoongie Oppa was soooo worried when he was filming this movie that his acting skills weren't that great. HAHAHAHAHAHA BABE YOU ARE A RIOT!! He did amazing. His voice was perfect.
"So you're a ghost?"-Hana
"*smirk* Angel"-JaeJoong.
He played the part perfectly. I love that his name was Shin Jae Joon. That is epic.
This was the best movie i have ever seen and i cant wait until Lovin' You comes out next year. (another DBSK movie :D)
*Sigh* life is good.

Christmas '09

So I think now that i'm a little older I tend not to like feel as excited about gifts until I wake up for christmas. (BTW in case no one has noticed yet spelling and punctuation not my thing) So I was helping my mom cook dinner which i will describe L8TAH . . . . so im helping my mom cook and she was like "You feeling okay?" I was like "Ya whyyy" "You just havent been hyper."
So when im not hyper im sick. . . . okay its the truth but what ever. You know what im just going to start from yesterday.
So we made
AHHHH NICHKHUN JUST SHOWED UP ON MONICA'S CLOCK!
So we made 18lbs of Prime Rib (which we are still consuming tonight) we made creamed corn, rolls (home made!! By me and my dad) mashed potatoes, lime jell-o, green beans, rice, and had cider of the apple, pear, and grape apple flavor. Now Christmas eve feels the need to DRAG no matter how excited I am it just DRAGS. So im sitting around the house to FRICKEN SICK to do anything. I wasn't really sick just nauseous. So We finally started cooking around like 7!! We ate at like 8:30 when gordan got to our house (a friend of ours) his fiancee came later. So we got in bed around 10 but didnt fall asleep until like midnight. or was it 11. . .
My cat is rubbing her face against my toes. . .
So i was in my onsie (like a full suit pajama its fricken great) and really we arnt supposed to wake up my parents until 7. but every hour on the FRICKEN hour i woke up. lucky me i know.
So I've had no idea what in the heck my parents were getting me for christmas. I asked for korean men for my big gift.
Personally i wanted all of the angels and the hottest time of the day, but knowing me i would've gotten those mexicans. Monica you know who im talking about.
and alll night i kept saying how much i hate Fabio (my pink ipod) and this morning i walk downstairs to a BRAND NEW IPOD NANO THAT SHOOTS VIDEO!!! So at first i was all oh this is totes. But then i got it out of my case. and i just have to say my mother is the greatest person alive. Sorry monica and aleah.
IT FRICKEN SAID ALWAYS KEEP THE FAITH ON THE BACK!!! I WANTED TO FIRCKEN CRYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
but i didnt cause i think my mother might've put me in a mental ward.
DARKNESS EYES JUST CAME ON OHMOGO! (aleah i've been typing it wrong)
So then i got the rest of the pear cider from the fridge and drank from the bottle and my mother called me a drunk.
I got
-a 120 color eyeshadow palate
-diamond earrings
-cute shirts (thanks bailey)
-Purple Jacket
-notebooks and colored ink pens :D (I WROTE MORE)
-perfume (celeb testers)
-new headphones
-$25 of itunes gift cards
-lotion
-a bamboo tree thing (I named him Yoochun but everyone else calls him Mickey)
-a bunch of other cool stuff!!
I laughed when i pulled out the earrings because thats what i had JaeJoong get Sadie in my story for christmas :D
So now im sitting in my parents room and i just bought the second season of OHSHC :D
I was reading Monica's blog and the clock is soo cool you just have to see it
http://themonicatheorem.blogspot.com/
I love it. She sooooooo got me into 2PM. It's not as bad as i love DBSK but it's second only to G-Dragon. that kid is like a male Lady Gaga but he is sooooo much better looking and has a better voice. Nichkhun from 2PM is my lover. JaeJoong is my husband and G-Dragon is a side view :D
Monica is going to kill me for saying that. . .
She said i should tell my dad i love SHINee or MBLAQ<---- Mexicans :D Really one of em has a stache. . . .ewwwie.
Haha that'd be epic if my dad killed SHINee or MBLAQ.
Okay i just spent like 10 minutes on 2PM . . . :D
Merry Christmas everyone
AND A FRICKEN AMAZING NEW YEAR!!!! 2010!!!!!
just noticed. i posted 3 times in the month of december WOOT WOOT!

Oh Goodness

Well I just discovered something amazing. No it isnt some lost treasure that will make me rich and help me marry JaeJoongie, BUT it is that I have been blogging for a year now!! WOOT WOOT!

Celebratory Picture :D

Yay SM Town!!!
Anyways. . . . . .

So I'm on Christmas break and this is like the only time i might blog more than once in a month. Not a lot has happened lately. Oh wait ya it has its called MY AMAZING BIRTHDAY WITH ALEAH AT TOWN SQUARE (Five bucks when Aleah sees her name in this she'll be like OMG!! Hahaha )

So Town Square. . . . hahahahahahahaha~ *Sigh* Aleah and I were dropped off at town square around like 3 if i remember correctly. We were bent on taking pictures with cute guys. But all the guys we saw were either too old (Now my mother is reading this with a face like (0)_(0) <-- Glasses) or they were all draped with girls. SOOO we took some random pictures and decided it was YOGURTLAND TIME!!! Aleah was being a poop though and wouldnt go inside with me. So as im standing in line i see the HAWTEST guys working behind the counter so even though aleah is right outside the glass i called her

B:ALEAH THERE ARE HAWT GUYS IN HERE (Said in a whisper scream)

A:Well i think you should take a picture with them

B:One problemo Aleah I HAVE TO BUY THE YOGURT! and YOU HAVE THE CAMERA

A:Thats 2 problems
B:Just get in here!!!

So Aleah came in and took pictures of them and pictures of them helping me with my yogurt. :D Then as we ate the yogurt these AMAZINGLY HAWT GUYS walked by as i was on the phone with my mother too. SO I ran up to the best looking one (if you havent guessed by now these kids are ASIAN!!) So i went up to the guy and was like "Hey it's my birthday can i take a picture with you?" mind you i looked AMAZING that day) So he said sure and his friends were like "You always get the girls!" And i said it was because of his amazing hair.

Ya thats him, Say what you want i thought he was GREAT! We started following them :D We're creepers i know. (btw its really cold as i type this and i really need my snuggie but it's upstairs and im to lazy to go get it) We followed them into boarders then lost them after spotting this guy who looked strangely like sungmin from SuJu. So we left boarders and went to Sanrio for like the 5th time that day. My amazingly good looking friend Tyler was in there (yes monica the one from health) so I hugged him and Aleah said i should get a pic with him but we go to school together so i was like ummmmm. We also ran into pockets while we were there (Yes pockets is a person a very good friend of mine) So then those guys found us and started stalking us :D my feet started to hurt though like really bad! (Red heels :D) So I called my dad and he picked us up and we went home and watched like the fisrt 10 minutes of Bonjour Paris. (Say it in your native tongue, Paris. If your name isnt aleah you wont get that) Then we went to Nagoya and had the worst teppanyaki i've had in my entire life. The chef SUCKED! All he wanted to do was talk about blackfriday to my uncle. Then he put my food on Aleah's plate. POO HEAD!

So that was my birthday. Now I went and saw Expectations with JUNSHI!! IT WAS AMAZING MY FAVORITE PLAY TO DATE!! BETTER THAN SWEENY TODD OR CATS!!! It was great mostly because he talked to me :D

AHH IT POSTED THIS WITH OUT MY PERMISSION!

But anyways I will just leave as is :D Writing later i guess

BAI BAI!!!!!

School

The hardest thing in my life is school.
NOT FAMILY
NOT MY LOVE LIFE (or lack there of)
NOT FRIENDS
NOT ANYTHING EXCEPT SCHOOL!!!
I'm taking really hard classes this year and some of those classes i was never good at anyway.
I have Bio. 1 Honors. I was never good at science. I dont care who says what I was never good at science. Too many difficult terms that all looked alike but ment different things. Also my teachers in middle school wern't that amazing so all the things i should know i dont apparenly so everyone around me is like "BLAH BLAH BLAH I KNOW EVERYTHING!" and i sit there like i have no clue whats going on!
Spanish is hard because i get how everything is said but the spelling is AMAZINGLY HARD! Epsecially how my teacher grades. 1 missed accent then your entire answer is wrong. not even a half credit. I wish they would let me take Japanese. I've learned some phrases in korean and can romazie simple Korean phrases so Japanese cant be tooooooo far off. I can already write all the way to 4 in Japanese. I know now your thinking "WOAH 4 YOU'RE MOVING UP IN THE WORLD!"
Theatre isn't hard as much as it is stressfull. The whole hours thing drives me insane!!! But other than that it truly is my favorite class next to english.
English is the greatest class on earth. It's simple and entertaining because Mr.Matulat gets that we have other classes and he gets that our majors are demanding. He gets it!! At the beginning of the year some senior theatre majors told us to find a teacher we could go to and just lay on the floor and cry. I think Mr. Matulat would let me if i asked.
Math. . . . ohmyheck. I love the teacher when he isn't teaching. But the way he teaches you can never tell if he is joking or if he is serious. Then he teaches things the simple way. So for like slope intercept form he just says y=mx+b so we (we being layne and myself) went to the book and had to look up slope intercept form.
School just isn't fun anymore.

Man~

So I hate that when ever I blog it's only after something big has happened or i have free time. Both of which never happen EXCEPT NOW!

So my birthday was the other day. It was amazing for the first half. I woke up NOT TIRED!! That never happens. Then I got Snow White on DVD ( I soo put a B instead of a V hahahaha I'm such a wanna be Korean!) I got the socks i wanted and i got A FRICKEN SNUGGIE!!! HOLY CRAP!!!!! Hahaha. So I got to school and they sang me happy birthday in theatre. We finished watching this amazing play called anatomy of gray. It was amazingly cute and i LOOVED~ it :D

Then in science we WHIPPED OUT MY SOCKS and we put them on my feet with my flats on so I had cute little JaeJoongie's face on my feet. Then they sang to me and i have A TON! of choir majors in my class so it sounded nice. And the cute nerd Alex (for those of you who know him) hugged me and said happy birthday. Then my sweetie Justin (who really isnt my sweetie but he took of my ring one day and put it back on my finger and claimed we were married then wrote his vows and my vows for me :D) hugged me and said happy birthday my sweets. He's so nice. And after lunch monica (I LOVE YOU MY SWEETS!) was like "BROOKE GET HERE NOW!!!!" Cause i dont eat lunch with her cause I'm at seminary. So Marina and Summer are walking with me and i see monica and her back is too me and she's holding something in her hand. So I called her and she was like BROOKE!!! So she put this canister in my hand, and all over the canister is pictures of my sweet Joongie. So Im flipping out cause i mean COME ON ITS MY HUSBAND!! So she's like OPEN IT! So I did and this is on the inside

Can i say I SCREAMED!!! OHGOMO I WAS SOOO FLIPPEN HAPPY~ And sweet monica's mother's birthday is the same day as mine so her mom was like "thanks monica you get Brooke something but forget your mothers birthday" But her mom made me a Joongie bookmark. I SOOO SLEPT WITH IT NEXT TO MYNON-EXISTENT BED! More about that later. So then I got home and it was nice but then i remembered i had about 20 people staying in my house. Normally i'm okay with people staying in my house but it was my birthday and I got to sleep on AN AIR MATTRESS IN MY SISTERS ROOM! But I had the most amazing cake and THE BEST CHICKEN AND DUMPLINGS ON THE FACE OF THE FRICKEN PLANET. . .

I'm in my mothers room right now with my mom and two aunts and im listening to a song from Mozart (The musical in which Xiah Junsu will be staring as Mozart) so i cant hear everything they're saying but at one point they're really loud then quiet then they laugh and get all quiet again. . . .

Anywho so I JUST WATCHED THE FIRST 10 MINUTES OF HEAVENS POSTMAN AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

It is so much easier to type ahhh on a computer cause when i wrote the same thing to aleah on my cell I had to keep pressing the 'H' button.

I've been sitting here listening to that song OVER AND OVER! I cant wait to see Mozart!!!
So my life is boring and I'll write later!

Aww Jae and Vick (Haha vick was named by Junsu Oppa because it's a combo of Visual and Shock :D)

My Room

Living in my house in madness with my father. My mother gets it. That I’m different and that my room being full of stuff is just who I am. My dad thinks that having every inch of my room covered in pictures is overwhelming. He thinks that my dresser covered in stuff isn’t good. Having my room like that is sooo calming. The rest of the world expects me to be organized and together. In my room, my domain, I can just let everything out and it can be my place to be unorganized and free. I wish my dad could see that.